bostonrainbows asked: I have to wonder why you'd go see a play about unrequited love...?
There’s a song I wrote about this last spring. I won’t post it, partly because of copyright shit and partly because of crippling self-consciousness, but it’s a lamentation, a declaration, an all-but-hopeless incantation. I wish you well…
Welcome to my life right now.
- 3 more computers making the total like 12 or something stupid like that. I’m on too many drugs right now to care. I feel good. I feel calm and relaxed and I’m yawning, holy shit. I have no inhibitions right now, I feel like dancing the night away. - Modern medicine is amazing. Modern technology, too, except…well I don’t have that much. - Forgot no one likes NEFs....
Hmm. I’m ready to admit that I can be clingy and over-emotional at times. So I will. It’s the way I am. I can’t explain it and I never could. I never will. I can regurgitate scientific fact, neurological research, findings of psychological studies, but I can never go beyond “That’s the way I am.” I never said I like the way I am. In fact, I say all too often...
I guess nothing is meant to be
and some people are just…some people. I like it when people know I exist. I like it when people like that I exist. I suppose I’d like it when I know I exist, but we’re still working on that. Maybe someone will help me find out how. Someday.
Trying to fix up an old computer I obtained from my ex-boyfriend. It appears as though the motherboard is dead. It’s getting power and all that, but won’t work. Quite literally, the spark is gone. The irony is excruciating.
Who the hell is having landscaping done on a rainy autumn day? I keep hearing the leafblower or weedwhackers outside and look at my phone because it sounds like it’s vibrating on the table…well I wish I was that popular. XD
aand my morning efficiency bothers me sometimes. But I’ll make this work. One step at a time. You believe me, right? :)
My nighttime walks would be a lot better if I could see stars where I live. And a lack of dinnertime fights would also be much appreciated.
i want to be back but not by myself; it’s the right time to turn over a new leaf and you might pick it up and keep it instead of crunching it underfoot. Something’s different because someone’s different, or because there is someone different, or someone is something instead of nothing, like we used to be - nothing like we used to be.
I need fresh air
and computer parts and my own pantry and a car and new shoes and a bass amp and a better physique and someone to hold me and tell me it’s alright
I've been single for a month now.
and it’s a strange sensation, still, let me tell you. Ah the limitations of micro-blogging platforms…if I could spill my heart, oh how the words would flow like blood from an old wound never given a chance to heal…the kind that leaves a scar you need to look a little harder to see…
this is really happening.
you know why I'm here and you do nothing
I know why I’m here and I’m doing everything. So why am I still here?
I'm willing to let go. The hard part is finding...
last stupid post of the night I promise.
It’s 0222h and I took 10mg of Ambien 90 minutes ago and feel just as awake as earlier today even after a milligram of a drug I swore I’d stop but can’t because it’s to clear my mind and relieve my anxiety and I mean I guess it works sort of. I don’t think I can stay in college. The one good friend I made within the first few days started to hate me in as much time,...
You started it.
I'm leaving tomorrow...like if you'll notice. :P
i can't stand being alone right now.
that awkward moment when you can’t tell if you’re sick because of somebody, or sick of somebody.
Anonymous asked: Wow, was that an attack? If so I expected as much. Look I won't stop posting as anon because I don't want the world to know who I am and I won't talk privately because you're right, face-to-face conversations are better. I can come find you but can't guarantee when. Just know that if you do withdraw from the college, it'll never be the same without you. We'll be...
Anonymous asked: No! You're not leaving Dickinson! Please don't. You're like the only sane person here who understands how normal people think and if you leave the crazies will win. Please stay. There's so much for you here.
well hey, at least I tried college.
like if you believe in the other side.
Ιφ υω καν ундерстанд тчис, υω кно' ме то' ςΐλλ αμδ...
i refuse chemical solace
well, it was nice knowing you. I guess.
losing friends like it's my job!
I thought college would be a blank slate. I need another one.
a song I’m writing on a whim is turning into a poem, and the imagery is very bed-like. Seriously, fabric of space, blanket of time, little dots and stitches, trying to reassure the stars they aren’t mistakes…beauty is found in disarray and disorder. The way it is and always has been. Do I need someone to cuddle with under the blanket of space? Possibly. I’d love a...
I had a dream last night where it had been raining for days and the wind was buffeting buildings, trees were swaying, and everyone I was with was hiding on a mountain. I (of course) had my camera and was near a window for some reason; we were in the upper atmosphere and it was very early morning; the sun finally came out but it looked distant; the sky wasn’t lit up, so it was like we were in...
that awkward moment when you realize you have more...
Fall break to-do
dual-boot the iMac with Debian and OSX organize all these clothes watch Baccano! put these random papers and photo prints somewhere ask for a desk chair that doesn’t hurt me to sit in figure out what to sing / practice that song actually record something with my guitar sleep
Reblog if you don't care if someone is...
asilhouette-rarelyseen: My followers better all reblog this. There should be more notes REBLOG FOLLOWERS. As long as you’re willing to love, you’re alright in my book <3 I reblog this everytime it comes on my dash. Which has already been quite a few times. I will always continue to reblog it <3